Remus muttered some sort of lame apology, and James said, “So that’s what he meant about the f*cking from behind…”

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

Regulus laughed. “Ha-ha Sirius, you just got rejected.”

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

In the end, Sirius found him. “Regs,” said Sirius, walking up to him. “Can you hook me up with Jacklyn Pepper?”

Regulus stared at his brother. Then he laughed.

“Like Jackie would ever go out with you.”

Sirius kicked his brother in the shin. “Don’t be an ass,” he said. “Introduce me to her.”

“She knows you.”

“She does?” asked Sirius hopefully.

“She doesn’t like you.”

“She doesn’t?” asked Sirius sadly.

Regulus shook his head, grinning. “No, she doesn’t, and there’s no way she ever would like you, not in a million years, and you have the gayest friends I have ever met.”

“What? Why?”

“I know all about your little homosexual love triangle. I’m a little freaked out by it, but I know about it. If I were you, I’d go with Lupin. He has those wicked scars.”

“WHAT?”

Regulus looked at him quizzically. " Please tell me you know what I’m talking about.”

Sirius shook his head blankly. Regulus regarded his brother for a minute or two, then he saw a J.P. + S.B. peeking out from his book bag, and something clicked in his mind.

“Dammit,” he groaned. “There was no vicious buttf*cking!”

Sirius glanced around. “You know what, Regs, I’m just going to go now.”

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

“Let me guess,” he said boredly. “You were the one he was violently f*cking from behind.”

James stared at him.

“Oh,” said Regulus lamely. “I guess you’re not in on that yet.”

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

Remus took a deep breath. “I…don’t think Sirius likes girls.”

Regulus frowned at him. “So…say I’m not quite following…”

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

“If you want powdered newt’s tongue, you’re going to have to wait, I’m all out at the moment.”

Remus shook his head, glancing around nervously. “I don’t want any drugs.” He wanted to add at least, not tonight but thought it might be tacky.

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

Apparently, ‘REGULUS BLACK IS SEXIER’ and "plus regs f*cks better’ had been written just below Sirius’s Sex God status, and that had upset Sirius. It had upset him so much that he had barreled over to his brother during breakfast and demanded to know who he was currently going out with.

“Sorry Sirius, tell your friends I’m taken,” Regulus had replied, not even taking his eyes off the Daily Prophet in his hands. “Besides, I’m not like that.”

“That’s not what I was asking, you little prat,” Sirius had said, rolling his eyes. “I want to know what girl you are dating right now. Because someone had decided to besmirch my good name and claim, falsely, might I add, that you’re the sexier one!”

Regulus had snorted into his orange juice. “Are you serious?” He snorted again. “Well, of course you are, but-”

Sirius had given him that please-don’t-go-there look.

Regulus had sighed. “Belinda McIntire. But she didn’t write that on the bathroom wall, Amanda Peterson did.”

Sirius had gaped at his brother. “Amanda Peterson? Amanda Peterson? I – I dated that slut!” he had said incredulously.

“Well then, I think we can agree that she’s had her taste of both you and I and fairly judged me as the superior f*cker.”

“That’s not funny. You’re too young to have a sex life.”

“Hark who’s talking, Mr. I-Did-Christine-Davison-When-I-Was-Twelve.”

“Yeah but I didn’t really do her. I just said I did.”

Regulus had smiled, still scanning the newspaper. “If it makes you feel any better, you can go ahead and believe Amanda doesn’t really think I’m sexier, she just says she does.”

Sirius had stalked away, fuming. Regulus always managed to do that to him.

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

"I’m serious – well, I’m not Sirius but I am being serious and… oh, nevermind. You’ve heard him, right? All those perverted things he mutters in his sleep?”

“And tell me, why exactly were you listening?” asked Remus, raising an eyebrow. Peter chuckled louder.

“He sleeps right next to me-”

Both Peter and Remus laughed this time. Mary McDonald looked around with a what-the-bloody-hell-are-you-talking-about expression on her face, and James winked at her. She rolled her eyes and went back to her conversation.

“I meant his bed is right across from mine, I can’t help what I hear,” continued James.




^LOL

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

"After a while, James got the feeling that there was a certain girl Sirius was crushing on (it wasn’t hard to figure out, since Sirius hadn’t yet realized he talked in his sleep), but he had no idea who (Sirius tended to refer to her as ‘baby’ and ‘sexy’ and ‘my little buttmuffin’ when he was sleeping). "


^{LOL BUTTMUFFIN}

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}

Thank you very much for watching the club

--
If adventure had a name...it must be Indiana Jones.

Join today! ~HarrisonFordClub

I've been hanging around
Just in case you
Fall
In love
With me...
I was concerned when you said
You'd rather
Wake up dead
Than spend a day with me..
^{*ring ring* hey, it's me. I got out on parole, whee, hahaha...sorry about that letter. The newspaper cuttings and all that. And the blood. The blood, haha! hahaha... oh god}
This love ain't a dream
I know it's obscene
Those calls that I made to your mother...

I'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND
JUST IN CASE
YOU FALL
IN LOVE
WITH ME
I KNOW YOU HAVE DOUBTS
I HEAR WHEN YOU SHOUT
'CAUSE I UNDERSTAND, YOU SEE!!!







BTW THANKS FOR THE FAV

--
^{no one mourns a traitor.}